The Online Religious Bigotry Drinking Game:
Making debates with the intolerant a little bit easier to bear, one beverage at a time.
- Muslims coming to our countries, having babies, and imposing their beliefs on us— 1 sip of domestic beer.
- Ableist slurs comparing theists to neurodivergent people—1 tequila mixed with prune juice because it’s going to be a long night.
- Founders intended American as a Christian nation—1 glass of cheap wine with a fake vintage label.
- Stalin was an atheist— 1 sip vodka.
- Stalin wasn’t really an atheist; he had a cult of personality and wasn’t rational, and rationality is synonymous with atheism — 2 sips vodka and a prune juice (long night).
- Obama is a secret Muslim— 1 sip of secret vodka stashed in a water bottle.
- “Magic underwear” Mormon joke—no drinking, just throw popcorn at your computer screen.
- “Taqiyya” reference— finish the bottle of something you can’t pronounce, with a prune juice chaser.
- Pre-Christian societies were matriarchal, sex-positive, enlightened, earth-friendly feminine utopias—1 glass of ambrosia (the food-of-the-gods kind, not the fruit salad kind).
- Badly-spelled Christian apologetics—1 sip of cheap domestic beer.
- “Sky fairy” reference— absinthe and prune juice, as much as you need.
- “You didn’t see Christians trying to censor Last Temptation of Christ!”—as much hard liquor as you need to erase your memory of Christians trying to censor Last Temptation of Christ.
- This is all a Jewish-media-controlled distraction from the real issue, warmongering Jews with their dual loyalty to Israel— very large sip of kosher wine.
- Satan killing our children/Satanic human sacrifice/baby-killing— 16 oz. tumbler of the blood of the innocent (you must drink the whole thing).
- Judeo-Christian values— mix prune juice, ensure, and the rest of the cheap domestic beer into a slurry, drink.
- “Rational people discover morality through science”/anything referencing Sam Harris— drink the full contents of the results of a high school student’s chemistry lab project.
- Wars are caused by patriarchy and sexual repression— sip drink of your choice from a suspiciously phallic beaker.
- Global warming, no matter how irrelevant to the topic at hand— 1 eucalyptus cough drop.
- Teaching evolution causes shooting sprees— as much hard liquor as you need to make the tree on the cover of your biology textbook look like a gun.
- 50th reference to theists needing psychiatric help— you’ve long since emptied the tequila and prune juice bottles, so start popping Risperdal.
***If the psychiatric slurs are in the context of a screed accusing others of bigotry and discrimination—do so while wearing a green wig
- “Only stupid theists are reproducing; smart atheists are childfree”/Idiocracy reference— finish your cheap fake-vintage wine out of a baby bottle.
- Equating theism with alternative medicine, no matter how irrelevant to the topic at hand— take an ethanol herbal tincture… herbal content optional.
- The other religious group is into anal sex— drink a perfect martini with porn music playing in the background.
- The other religious group is into sex with children— same as above, only pour the martini into a baby bottle.
- The world would be a better place if all religions were banned— drink one glass of moonshine.
- Misquotes, misleading quotes, out-of-context quotes, and misleading paraphrases of religious texts— open a bottle of champagne, because you deserve it.
- “Liberals support Muslims because they hate Christians”/ “liberals have a double standard of hating Christians and not Muslims”— drink a margarita while hanging upside down.
- “It’s one thing for primitive tribes to believe this stuff, but outrageous that civilized Western countries do”— Drink a Coca-cola with actual cocaine in it, to match the era of your interlocutor’s mindset.
- Nazi reference—no drinking, just throw some glitter in the air and spin in circles.
- Muslims cause civil war wherever they go, and force the infidel to submit— drink water; your new Muslim overlords have banned alcohol.
- Wife-beating reference— drink a bottle of cough syrup.
- Obama betrayed our ally, Gaddafi, to support the Muslims— recognize that you’re drunk enough already, walk away.