Not everyone has the same experience with autism.
I’m sure the person who made this comment to me thought it needed to be said, but this is actually quite the cliche by now. And like most cliches, it’s both partly true and largely misleading. At the most basic level, no two people have the same experience with autism, or with any other matter: each human lived experience is unique. Likewise, each human lived experience is equally valid—who, after all, can say that another human’s experience is objectively right or wrong?
Well, I can. Because we are not equal. Your experience of me and my experience of myself are not two equally valid differing perspectives worthy of equal weight. The “autism experience” of a non-autistic person does not, cannot, hold the same weight as that of an autistic person. “Not everyone has the same experience!” you say as you flit about trampling over the direct, firsthand life experiences of those you treat so condescendingly. This is the sort of arrogance that makes the “autism community” so insufferable. My life is not a democracy. My lived experiences are not subject to popular vote. You and I do not get equal say in what I am. We are not the same. We are not equal.